Compulsions are a tell-tale indication that what you’re experiencing is the result of OCD and not normal anxiety or relationship issues. So, if, in response to intrusive thoughts about your relationship, you feel an overwhelming need to repeatedly engage in mental or physical behaviors to alleviate anxiety or uncertainty, OCD is likely the culprit. There are several important differences between relationship stress that’s caused by ROCD and regular or healthy relationship anxiety.

A person with OCD tends to have obsessions, such as uncontrollable and reoccurring thoughts, and compulsions, which refer to behaviors. Jazzmin Johnson was five years into her relationship when anxiety hit, and she sought out therapy — but when her therapist floated the idea that she might need to “find herself,” Johnson began to spiral. “A few hours later, I remember a thought popping into my head of ‘What if you do need to find yourself? What if you need to leave your boyfriend to find yourself?

They may perceive it as neediness or may feel as if their personal boundaries are always being disregarded. Doing the opposite and not revealing your challenges with OCD sets the stage for all sorts of misunderstandings, which is why communication is key. Informing them of what’s going on in your head helps foster empathy rather than resentment or confusion. No matter the OCD flavor – germs or harm or something else – the disorder is based on fear. In the above examples, it’s fear, anxiety, and stress at the root of the behavior.

Dating Someone with Relationship OCD

You may find yourself in a relationship not realizing that your partner has depression, or the depression may set in once your relationship has already started and catch you off guard. Dating and romantic relationships are extremely personal, and many would argue there’s no way to “control” who you fall in love with. A relationship is supposed to be a source of support, mutual love, respect, and understanding. If your partner is displaying any of the red flags outlined above, it might be time to walk away – whether they’re a diagnosed narcissist or not. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, also known as CBT, teaches people to identify, understand and change negative thinking patterns and behaviors.

You feel neglected, misunderstood, and isolated by your partner

But for some reason, you have nagging doubts about them that won’t go away. This makes me feel like I have some small modicum of control over my world and that makes me feel better. It might sound crazy, but it’s my reality and it’s not going to change. I can’t always explain why I do the things I do and that can make communication hard. He can’t fully comprehend the way I’m feeling, and so, a lot of my behaviors are alien to him. Although this post explicitly discusses OCD and romantic relationships, these thoughts can also apply to two individuals who struggle with addiction.

Why can’t everyone just want to live in an orderly, clean world? Why is spontaneity so important when you can guarantee having a great time wherever you go because you planned it? I know I have a problem with OCD, but I find I don’t feel like anything I do is out of ordinary, and it’s other people who seem to have something “wrong” with them.

That takes mindfulness, which means rejecting any information you may have collected from compulsively checking your feelings. ROCD is a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder in which a person experiences obsessions and compulsions related to their relationships. It is very common for people to have some doubts about the suitability of their partner or the relationship itself at some point during the course of a romantic relationship.

A person may notice the symptoms appearing in early adulthood, which affects their later relationships. These symptoms may also date back to the first time they faced an important romantic decision, such as getting married or having a child. Relationship-centered OCD can cause a person to doubt and worry about the perceived suitability of their relationship. This may cause them to doubt the other person’s feelings and whether the relationship is a right fit for them. ROCD is chronic, meaning that it can’t be “cured,” but it can be managed effectively — and you can still enjoy a harmonious, thriving relationship. And although ROCD can present in unsatisfying relationships that potentially aren’t a great fit, it’s worth noting that Horton, LaFleur, Johnson, and Walshner are all still happily coupled up with their partners.

Supporting Someone You Love With Depression

People who have OCPD usually don’t think that they have a problem and resist getting help. It can be hard to get them to go to counseling or therapy, but here are some http://www.datingrated.com suggestions for framing it in a way that may appeal to them. ROCD can be incredibly time-consuming, draining, and limit one’s ability to feel connected to others.

How to Support a Romantic Partner Who Has OCD

And, and so I would really encourage you not to take it personally. And not to look too deep into the idea of what they’re obsessing about because the overwhelming probability is, is that has nothing to do with you or your relationship. It has to do with the fact that that person has OCD primarily. And if it locks onto their relationship, chances are, they’ll tell you, you know, I hear this again. And you’re like, there’s nothing wrong with my partner relationship while mine just keeps looping about it. They’re trying to solve the problem to the best that they know how, but it’s making it worse off than over time, which is why it’s important for that.

Not surprisingly, people with OCD are often sexually avoidant and sexually dissatisfied in their relationships. You may fear that a relationship can’t survive when OCD is involved; that’s what OCD wants you to believe but OCD is a giant liar walking around with its pants on fire. I once broke up with a guy because he didn’t get a joke I made about Star Wars. His failure to laugh reinforced my fear that we didn’t share the same sense of humor, which was a dealbreaker for me. It is, therefore, vital for you to learn about compulsions to be able to recognize when your partner is struggling and help them calm down. This significantly reduces stress levels in your relationship.

And how connecting with the OCD community changed her life forever. “It’s a very treatable problem that takes hard work because you have to face your fears, but people can and do overcome it,” Abramowitz said. He says some people with ROCD may only obsess about their relationships, while others may obsess about more than just their relationships.

The rituals may not make sense to you, but they help your loved one cope with their obsessions. For many patients, obsessive thoughts revolve around germs, which makes the compulsions manifest as obsessive cleaning. People with OCD may also feel the need to organize everything to make sense of their thoughts. However, the symptoms are still the obsessions and compulsions, not the cleaning itself.

Verywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy. ROCD can put strain on a relationship and both people in it. It is possible for a relationship to survive ROCD, but ROCD symptoms should be addressed regardless of their effects on the relationship or its outcome.